The 12^th of July in the USA.

In Ulster on the 11^th July the bonfires were burning. In Toronto the Protestant and Rangers Clubs opened their doors to celebrate the Glorious 12^th of July. No doubt that night and the day after, all that participated not only enjoyed the company of Brothers and Sisters but walked with pride of an Organization that they belonged to.

The day that all Orangemen celebrate as the birth of Orangeism (though it wasn’t born on this day in 1690) we celebrate the Battle of the Boyne, where the Catholic Army of King James was defeated by William of Orange. If we read our history the Orange Order began many years later, in 1795 after the Battle of the Diamond. But no matter the roots and history were set on that Glorious Day. If we trace our roots back even further on the 18^th December 1688 the Apprentice Boys in the City of Londonderry closed the gates to the Rebel army. A celebrated history of that there can be no doubt. Orangemen and Apprentice Boys of past generations set up the way forward for an organization that would fight and argue against Rome, racism and tyranny.

All through Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Ulster and England parades were held throughout the month of July. Parades that many locals may not understand, where some may not feel is correct in today’s society but they have come to accept as part of a tradition and a right of a free society.

Meanwhile in the USA, Orangemen, packed their bags and headed home to Ulster or Scotland or up to Canada where parades are allowed and accepted as part of the July festival. Orangemen not able to travel gathered in bars or clubs in hotels or in their homes and celebrated. Quietly but without the ritual of a Walk in front of all people and nations, of all cultures and religions to celebrate the right to walk, the right to show what we stand for and the right to celebrate our great history.

The last Orange walk in the USA was held in 1900

“There were no Orange parades in New York until 1890 when there was a march with a picnic in Jones Wood at which 4,000 were present. The last New York parade was in 1900 when the imperial Grand Orange Council of the World had its sessions in the city. The Orange and Green were so agreeable together by this time that there were no incidents.”(source Alex Roughs web page)

For 103 years there has not been an Orange walk in the USA. A country whose heritage was founded by the Ulster Scots. In discussion with other Orangemen and Women in this great Nation, they remind us of the fact that in the 19^th Century in New York the troubles surrounding the Walks have made the Modern USA Orangemen wary

“The death toll of the 1871 parade was 50 rioters and six policemen: 300 rioters were injured and 60 police and army personnel. Only two Orangemen were slightly injured. Close on 400 Irish Roman Catholics were arrested for various offences. But charges were not pressed against them. The organizers of the attack were not even taken into custody, but the public outcry led to many Native Americans joining the institution.”

There was no trouble in the 1872 demonstration in New York and no demonstration in 1873. AT the second sessions of the State Grand Lodge of New York in June. 1874 there were discussions on a New York Twelfth march.

The report concluded: "The prevailing opinion is that parading through the streets on the Twelfth of July is entirely unnecessary, and as the authorities have decided in favour of the society have the same rights extended to them as other societies -- the right to parade it is now deemed not at all necessary ... that instead each lodge should meet at their headquarters and celebrate the anniversary ... by a social reunion"

The Twelfth, 1874, being a Sunday, the brethren attended services at Holy Trinity Church where the Rev. S. H. Tynge was the preacher. He said of the Orangemen:

"They were American Protestants -- no longer Irish Protestants. They did well to remember the deeds of the brave men of Enniskillen, and sternness of Prince William, but he would beseech them to be done with the emnities, to cast aside the prejudices born in these hours of trial."

Today there are no Walks in the USA. The Americanization of the Orange order followed as was predicted in 1875. It took 15 years for the next walk to talk place in New York and the final walk was held on July 10^th, 1990.

The writer has no information of Orange parades being held in the USA after that date but would like anyone who knows of a parade since that time to come forward in order to put the history books straight.

Being the case 103 years later, without confirmation from the Grand Lodge of the United Sates of America, NAL understand that there is less than 400 active Orangemen and Women left in the USA. A number of Lodges do grow stronger and many have initiated Native Americans into the Lodges. But it is still a far cry from those 4,000 marchers who walked in 1890 and the 3,500 who walked when the Imperial Grand Orange Council of the World held their meeting in New York in 1900.

Today, Orangemen and women in the USA, still remember those days back home in Scotland and Ulster. The new Native American members wonder in the organization they have joined and look forward to a trip back “home” to a land that is their birthrights but not where they were born.

One day the 400 or so Orangemen and Women in the USA will Walk and Parade again in this free country of ours. We just need to get up, United and do it. After all if ever other culture in this land can celebrate their holidays, then why can’t we also celebrate the freedom that America brings to all?

(source for historical content—Alex Roughs Orange pages and SE Long)

At a recent meeting of our Orange Lodge, a discussion arose regarding whether or not a Walk should be organized to take place in the United States.  The conversation went back and forth.  Proponents of the Walk felt it would increase the Order’s presence in the community and create a positive image for the Order.  While others felt that it was a good idea, but could present a number of problems for the Order.  A large parade in the States would surely bring out Irish-catholic protesters and could actually result in bad publicity for the Order.

Even if the confrontation is nonviolent, it could very well result in bad publicity for the Order.  The media coverage could be very damaging for the Orange Order if it portrays us in a bad light.  The average person in the U.S. knows little or nothing about the Orange Order.  If their first impression is the Order clashing with republican groups during a peaceful parade it would drastically harm our image in the United States.  Let me add that I don’t believe anyone is afraid of these groups but there is little to be gained from a confrontation with them on the street.

At the end of the day, both sides of the discussion make valid points.  There could be a lot of benefits from holding a large walk in the United States.  But the potential problems may outweigh the benefits at this time anyway.  One way to begin would be to organize small parades at first.  As a Canadian brother told me recently, “start with a church parade and grow from there.”  The Orange Order has grown in the U.S. the last few years, hopefully as this continues the ability of the Order to hold a parade in a large city will become a reality.

No Surrender!
Ohio Loyalist

United We Stand, Collaret Fund.

Press Release

The members of United We Stand Web Site have set up a fund to assist people who wish to join the Loyal Orange Institution. The Fund collects money from members of the Web Site and from our friends throughout the world to assist the new members of our Institution to buy their first Orange Collaret.

The Funds was set up by John Findlay (LOL 221) Ronnie Hughes (LOL 221) and Alan Locke (LOL 434) these individuals are the Directors of the fund and any new member who would like to apply for a donation to assist in buying their first collaret should contact the Directors. Two bank accounts currently exist for the Fund, one in Scotland the other in the USA.

The Fund was set up after the burning of Orange Halls in both Scotland and Ulster in 2002 and 2003. Realizing that a small web site could not fund the rebuilding of the Orange Halls we decided to attempt to achieve the next best thing. That was to help new members understand the meaning of Faith, Hope and Charity through the donations. Ultimately the close bond of brotherhood and sisterhood in our Institution is our greatest ally.  By assisting new members we believe that they will assist the Fund and the Institution will grows in strength. And through that strength we will rebuild our halls and our Institutions.

Currently the fund donates $20 (15 British pounds) to those that apply. Two donations have already been sent out. The Fund also has contacts for the most reasonably priced collaret’s.

We believe that buying your first Collaret, thus joining the Loyal Orange Order is the most important decision you will make in your life. Thus each new member needs to participate in the buying of this cherished addition to your life. It will change your life, if you put in what you take out.

You can contact the Fund through: [email protected]

Alan Locke (LOL 434)
Ronnie Hughes (LOL 221)
John Findlay (LOL 221)

The "tolerant" Catholic Church strikes again.  When Texas was Mexican territory, the land was open only to Catholics to settle freely.  What does Protestantism mean to me?  It means tolerance.  It means freedom of expression and freedom of thought.  It means freedom of religion for all and moderation in judging other people. It means, in essence, tolerance.  Who ran the Inquisition?   The Catholics of Spain, Italy, France, and Germany.

Who were the concentration camp guards for the Nazis?  The Catholics of Lithuania, Croatia, and the Ukraine.  The Serbs in the Balkans (Orthodox) and the Orthodox Ukrainians were sent to the camps.  The Catholics ran them.  In Protestant Holland, the Queen told her people to help the Jews.  They responded.  In Protestant Denmark, the King, upon hearing that all Jews had to sew a Star of David on their sleeve to identify them, sewed one on his own sleeve, and the Danish people followed suit.  What countries offer freedom of expression and always have?  The U.K., the USA, Australia, Canada (except French Catholic Quebec where there is more discrimination against Protestants than there is in Ireland).

What do these nations have in common?  They are essentially Protestant nations.  Can you ever see a Protestant nation telling people to convert or die, to convert or leave?  I can't.  So what does Protestantism mean to me?   It means tolerance and freedom for all.

Lee, the Moderate

AMERICAN PROTESTANT ASSOCIATION. (APA)

Founded in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Exact date of founding unknown, one source lists December 19, 1849, another 1844. Strongly in opposition against the Roman Catholic Church. Albert S. Stevens, in his "Cyclopedia of Fraternities" (1907)

wrote: "the oldest American, exclusively anti-Roman Catholic secret society, a prototype of the American Protective Association. It endured a number of schisms, mostly over a decision to reduce the number of degrees offered from 5 to 3. In 1884, a group opposing this move broke off and formed the Order of American Freeman (no clue on that).

It had a membership of 200,000 at its high point, but by the turn of the century it began to decline, although one source still lists in the 1920's. More of a "patriotic" order than a secret society with an emphasis on ritual and degrees.

The AMERICAN PROTECTIVE ASSOCIATION was founded in Clinton Iowa, in 1887, and resembled the Know Nothings of the 1850's (a political group in America that opposed immigration and Roman Catholicism, so named because if a member was asked if he knew anything about a nativist secret society, he would respond "I KNOW NOTHING.) Reportedly had over 2,000,000 members by 1900. One reason is that is supposedly absorbed thousands of members of older patriotic orders, according to Stevens. It also opposed the Vatican, and was very active in American politics up until 1894. By WWI, the society was inactive. Highly secret ritual, until published in the Congressional Record.

From Alvin J. Schmidt's "Fraternal Organisations", Greenwood Press, 1980.

I suppose it would be possible for an American Orangeman to be a member, but the two groups were not connected in any official sense.   America has thousands of organisations like this, most defunct now and only found in books like this one. The Know-Nothings were well known during their day; even ran candidates for President, including a former President, Milliard Fillmore

Was this the same Blair who sets up Commissions to deny British Citizens their Civil Right to walk the Queens highway without let or hindrance such as Drumcree.  Whose Government works tirelessly to invent excuses and erect any obstruction that will prevent British Citizens from expressing their Orange culture in a part of the UK. Who condones and praises some N.I. Assembly members whose allegience to Britain is at all times questionable.  What hypocracy. What a nerve.  What a Jekell & Hyde you are Mr Blair.  Go look in the mirror.

JAC. LONDON

North Carolina,
Home of the Ulster Scots Needs a Lodge!

It is well known here in North Carolina that the larger portion of the population of native 'Tarheels' descend from the Scottish people -- Ulster and Highland Scots -- the English being the second largest group. This region, along with the South in general, is one of the last regions where Conservative Protestants far out-number any other religious sect.

We believe that this State is ready to begin for the Orange Order. 'Orangeism' has often times adapted itself to the special needs of the community in which it serves and so must a unique set of needs be met here. The average person here may never have heard of an Orangeman but yet the very principles of 'Orangeism' are commonly shared by the majority. I believe that the Orange Order can be perceived here as a 'home-grown' organization and without having to change a thing. As with the United States of America in general, there is a need to return to the old Reformation doctrines.

I believe no other state has as much potential in this regard. If you are interested in a lodge in North Carolina please contact the Editors of NAL who will pass on your interest to the appropriate parties.

An adopted Aunty of mine send me this note this week. This lady is retired and living in Canada. It maybe tells us all that live in North America what is feels like when a loved one, from back home in Scotland or Ulster passes away. It also points out a number of issues that we all need to examine in our own lives across here. Namely our faith, our history and how we are going to maintain our culture when there are so many other attractions to take our time up.

The letter

“I was so glad to hear from you. I have had this crying spells since my Aunt passed away but I promised my husband that I will get myself together as I know she is in a better place.  She was very special, she was a nurse and was never married but she led a full happy life, The Church of Scotland and her nieces and nephews was her way of life. She was the last of a family of nine and I have had such an empty feeling as I was very close to my Aunts and Uncles.

The minister who conducted her funeral service was one of my best friends we went to Primary school and the Academy together. I e-mailed him and asked if he would read a little eulogy I had put together and he was very happy to do it. I would like you to read it so I will send it after this.

A little smile about her, a friend of mine called me from home and she said well Mary that is your Auntie Alice gone and she said a lot of good things about her, then she said, I never heard her say a bad word about anyone!! Well just one, guess who?   THE POPE!

She refused to go into C&A after the Pope opened their new store in Aberdeen. But one thing I can say about my Aunt is that though she loved her Church, her faith and her heritage, she never ever treated a Roman Catholic badly. Unless that is, she was treated badly herself.

She taught me a lot about the way of life as a good and honest Protestant.

My response to her going, is to carry on that faith and teach those that will listen that we have a good and righteous cause.

Thanks for listening”

The Romance of the Irish.

(Movies of a Generation of Influence)

You only have to wander down to your local video/DVD rental store and look along the shelves. “The Gangs of New York” the latest blockbuster in a non-ending release of movies which depict the Irish as down trodden people in the great nation of America.

We can sit and wonder why through the list of movies that is brought out by Hollywood, why none of the movies outline the plight of the Protestant People of Ulster, or the colonial spirit of the Ulster Scots is seen as potential blockbusters by those that run Tinsel Town.

A quick tour of the Classic Irish movies on the internet starts with the "The Informer" (1935) and continues with a number of Classics "Going My Way" (1944) "I See a Dark Stranger" (1946), "Odd Man Out" (1947), "The Luck of the Irish" (1948), "The Quiet Man" (1952), "Untamed" (1955), "The Rising of the Moon" (1957), "Shake Hands with the Devil" (1959), "Darby O'Gill and the Little People" (1959), "Finian's Rainbow" (1968), "Ryan's Daughter" (1970), "The Secret of Roan Inish" (1994)

Not only have that, even Disney Channel got into the act of celebrating the Irish.  “The Luck of the Irish” is played on a constant basis, a great act of propaganda, taking in the young Americans on a popular TV channel.

If you stop for a minute and think about it, examining the list above, you will note that the Quiet Man is amongst the list. The leading male role was held by none other that John Wayne. Yes the same John Wayne who also had a starring role in the Original Alamo Movie. John Wayne, who was for many on the Scots Irish side a hero of right wing politics and our way of life. In fact he is of Scots Irish blood. Was it about money that allowed him to star in a movie that romanticized Irish culture over 50 years ago??

The success stories of the Ulster Scot way of live in North America are few and far between. The Patriot, a movie about the American Revolution, had a scene where a Scotsman was seen in traditional dress. We can only imagine that he was Scots Irish.

The romance of the movies continues to take the Irish dimension and it won’t change. Simply there is no romance in being an Orangeman or dare I say it an Ulster Scot. And why should there be. It’s not much fun watching a movie about issues that many in America have well forgotten about or never even know about.

This we cannot change and even boycotting the movies won’t help. Our response needs to be to change the perception. Find romance in being a Protestant maybe but more than that; educate our kids that the romance in the movies is simply just that. It’s to sell pictures, to make others than ourselves rich and is no different from a cartoon, a soap opera, or an advertisement. It’s just about entertainment.

We have other issues to deal with, and ones that will not be a brief interlude to escape reality. Back to the Real World.

Having just returned from Houston, Texas, where I attended the North American Rangers supporters association's 2003 Space City Convention, I was asked (ordered) by the Obersturmbahnfuhrer from Stadt Barrowfield in the Ost end of the city, to put together a wee report of my trip, so, with the threat of being sent on a one man invasion to Stalingrad hanging over ma heid, here goes.

Thursday 5th June.

Cases packed and full of excitment, I waved the wife aff ti work at 07.30 a.m

"Cheery-bye hen" I said, as she disappeared away ti feed some school weans in Pollok.

"Dont forget to do the dishes afore ye leave" she shouted over her shoulder.

"Aye right ah will" I said under ma breath in case she heard me and turned back.

So it came to pass, that at aprox 8 o'clock on an overcast Thursday morning, my nephew turned up to drive me to Glasgow airport to check in for my 11 o'clock flight to Chicago on American Airlines flight 053. Things were going fine and I was in good spirits.

We got to the airport in plenty time (something I learned from my army days).

I thanked my nephew and as he returned from whence he came, I went inside to check in.

Hmm. this was where the problems first started. Apparently my flight would not be taking off at the advertised time, as someone had forgotten to tell American Airlines about a wee thing like "Driver's hours"!!!!, so, they had to find another couple of pilots and cabin crew to fly us off to the land of the free.!! 

Normally, this would not have been a problem, but, as I had only one hour in Chicago to catch my connection to Houston, I was getting a wee bit frettful, to say the least.

Eventually, we took off, over an hour late, but reassured by our new captain who promised us that we could make up lost time as we crossed the Atlantic. Aye, that's right, a promise like "honest, your cheque is in the post".

Needless to say, we arrived in Chicago still over an hour behind time, and, yes you've guessed it, I missed my connection.

Now, I had friends meeting me at Bush International in Houston, so, I hoped that they would suss oot what the problem was, so I went to the check in at American in Chicago, only to be told that the next flight to Houston was over 4 hours away!!!!!!! That would mean my friends would have to be waiting for me in Houston for over 5 hours, and we had some drinking to catch up on, so, putting on my best arrogant persona, i demanded to know what American airlines were going to do to rectify THEIR problem and get me to my destination in a reasonable time!

To cut it short, after a few no's and hums an' haws, a supervisor picked up a phone, made a few calls, and hey presto!, I was whisked off to Continental airlines desk as they had a flight to Houston in 2 hours. See what I mean? If only more people would argue their case with the companies who let them down, then things can and will be done, if even only to get rid of you.:-)))

I checked in, and was assured my luggage would be taken care of. 

Hmmm wrong again.:-))) So it was only when I got to Houston and waited at the carousel for my cases, and going dizzy watching bags being taken off, and still no sign of mine I was now getting a teeny bit angry, and thats when I stormed aff ti find a sheriff to hand myself in before I throttled someone. As I went upstairs to arrivals lounge there was my pal Alan, all smiles, so that cheered me up a bit, and after a wee hug of greeting, he took me to the American airlines desk. There we explained the problem, and after a few phone calls, I was told my luggage was coming on the next American flight, 2 hours later.:-(((( Bollocks tae this I told Alan, you have been waiting long enough, so we arranged with the Airline to deliver my luggage to our hotel in downtown Houston later.

Hmmmm, canny be wrang 3 times, can I? Yep, you've guessed it, nae luggage. But by this time we were in the bar meeting loads of bears, some of whom I already knew, and loads more that I only knew as a name on an e-mail over the years.

It was only much later, in the early hours back in my room passed oot, that I was awoken by my pals, and there in front of me was my luggage. It transpired that a couple of them took it upon themselves to go all the way back out to the airport to collect my cases and bring them to the hotel.

Such friends.They did not have to do it, but they did. Well done guys.

Just as well they did, because we were leaving first thing for a 3 hour bus trip to San Antonio, and a visit to the Alamo, and a change of clothing(after a cold shower) was in order.

We piled aboard our buses (we had 3 x 56 seater coaches) and headed up the back where the boys assured me that breakfast was waiting. It was. Hallelujah! a couple of cases of ice cold beers. Lovely jubbly.:-)))

We left at about 7 or 8 in the morning, and the temperature was already in the 90's, god knows what it would be when we reached San Antonio around mid-day. Well, it was up at 100 or more when we got there and the consumed breakfast beers were pouring out of every pore.:-)))

We only had a couple of hours at the Alamo, and with no sign of the presentation party for our Ulster flag, we took in the guided tour around the museum, then headed around the historical site.

This was where my trip nearly came to an unexpected end, as we reached a bank of flagpoles, Alan(Tonto) decided that if we could not present the Ulster flag, we would at least make sure it would fly!!!!

Things were going quite well, as the Ulster flag was pit up the pole, but unfortunately, the french flag that was there first fell aff, and someone in the watching crowd (possibly a visiting froggie) took offence and called the polis, so next thing we knew, we were surrounded by Texas Rangers, handcuffed and whisked aff ti the caboose.:-)))

After explaining what we were trying to do, and giving them a lesson in who exactly fought to make Texas the free state it was now, we were given a stern lecture in what Texans thought of vandals( makes a wee change frae being called bigots), our names and addresses taken for future reference we were released.

Now, they might have thought us bad boys, but at least they had the good grace to run us back in the chooky wagon to whence we came, and after a few handshakes and smiles from the lawmen, we were free to resume our visit, but warned to stay away from flag poles.

The Ulster Flag is now in the possesion of San Antonio's finest, who promoised to make sure it was given to the Daughters of Texas, who would find room for it in the wee Alamo Mission.:-)))

Bugger this, it was time tae find a bar for some refreshment.

All too soon, it was time to return to the coaches, same seats, a packed lunch, well, mair beer to be exact and it was back to Houston. It was just like a Rangers supporters bus oan the way to a game, as all the old favourites were belted oot.:-)))

We were roasting, sweating like pigs, and three parts gone, but happy.:-)))

The remainder of Friday was a blur. More rounds of meetings back in the convention hotel, oot for a meal neaby, mair beers and stuff then aff ti bed to get ready for what Saturday had in store.

Saturday arrived and we were up early (well, reasonably early) considering the social night on the Friday went on till aw hours.

This was THE night of the convention, the Grand Ball, but first, there was a meeting in one of the conference suites in the afternoon for brothers in the order, hosted by Detroit Boyne Defenders. I wont say too much on here due to our membership base, but needless to say it was well attended, with visiting brethren from all over Scotland, Ulster, England, the USA and Canada. It was a first for a NARSA convention, and it was a privilege to be there and take part. At the end just before the meeting closed, it was great to hear all the fraternal greetings and I was pleased to pass on fraternal greetings on behalf of Calton Protestant defenders LOL 221

221 brothers, I will give you a full account at our next meeting.

You will by now have gathered that I have missed out the NARSA clubs meeting with the club Chairman and Martin Bain, but that is their domain and we were just visitors, although we did attend some of it just to get the flavour of things. Let's just say that some of the NARSA boys pulled no punches at the way they thought the club was treating the supporters.

Again, more on that at our 221 meeting.

The grand ball in the evening was great, and many new friends were made during the course of the evening. The highlight was of course one Donald Findlay QC our MC as he introduced the players who had travelled over. Mark Hately, Super Ally, Ian Durrant and "Bomber" Brown. There were probably a few more.

Special mention must go to the Cambridge Crown Defenders flute band from Ontario( we have some of their members on CPD 221). They performed brilliantly over the weekend. Well done Jimmy-L and the lads, it was great to meet you at last.:-)))

The evening went with a swing well into the wee small hours, then afterwards, for those still standing, a trip to the nearby bars for a top up and more grub.
:-)))

Sunday was the last day before everyone went there separate ways, and the Texas True Blues laid oan a " Bobby Sands Memorial BBQ" which I believe went well. I did not attend, as I had to leave with Alan and Dave and a couple of others for a 6 hour drive down through the swamps of Louisiana to New Orleans where we had arranged to spend a couple of days.

We had a bit of trouble getting us all into the people carrier with all our luggage, and we actually had to leave behind six cases of beer, because there was no room for them.:-((((

What a ball we had with our Rangers tops on, parading up and doon Bourbon street. Now those folks know how to party. It's a case of "Anything goes" and at any time. Drinking in the streets between pubs, nae problem. One downside was the number of "scroungers" looking for handouts (mainly cash or ciggies) but offer them a burger or pizza and they dont want to know. We found the best defence was attack, especially in a broad Glaswegian accent.."Get tae f*** ya poncin' bassa ye" "Yir gettin' eff aw aff us". That usually did the trick, as they did not know what to make of someone who spoke so rashly to them in what must have sounded like a foreign tongue.:-)))

All too soon it was time for the return trip to Houston, as Alan had to fly home on the Wednesday, so six hours later, we bid our tearful farewells to him and went to find a hotel near to the airport for our last night in the USA.

We found one about 15 mins from the airport, but less said about it the better. The Bates Motel was like the Waldorf compared to this place, but at least it was close to the airport.

By now I was a wreck. I was burnt to a cinder and my body was crying out for a rest, so I called off the last night festivities and just lay in my room dehydrated and being sick as a dog. In all the five days I was there, I dont think the temperature dropped below 90 degrees, even all through the night. It wasn't the heat so much, as the humidity. It was murder.

After a wee(for me) breakfast in the morning, we hung about the Bates Sanatorium until it was time to take the hire car back and head to the airport and home.

I managed to get a seat beside Jim J. on the short flight to Chicago O'Hare, but could not manage to get beside him for the transatlantic flight to Glasgow as it was full. The good thing about the Chicago flight, was our flight attendant, a Mr Kevin Peter O'Shaunessy, I kid you not.:-))) As we were sat right at the back, he obviously heard our Scots accents, and immediately started asking us where we were from etc. I was wearing my NARSA Rangers top, but he knew hee-haw aboot football, as all he talked about was golf, and how he would love to play a Scottish course. As he had the drinks trolley with him at the time, he leaned over and whispered" I am not allowed to do this", and then he slipped us a couple of freebie miniatures. More talking aboot golf and oor miniatures had vanished as quickly as they had arrived, and with a knowing wink, he produced another two. Good man Kevin, you will do for us. You kin stay beside us and chat aboot golf aw the way tae Chicago mate.:-))) As it was only a three hour flight, we managed another Kevin freebie and then it was fasten your seatbelts, we are landing in a few minutes.

That man, even with a name like his, is getting our vote as cabin crew person of the month.:-)))

After a wee visit to the duty free at O'Hare, and a few miniatures each to keep us going (2 dollars from duty free, 5 dollars oan the plane), we caught our connection and it was back across the Atlantic and home.

I did say that I could not get a seat beside Jim, and it transpired that some families were in the same position, often many seats apart.

I found myself beside a wee pensioner from Baillieston who had been living in California for the last 22 years, and after polite introductions, she enquired what I had been up to in the states.

I asked her a similar question and why she was going back to Glasgow. Now, if ever a question was asked that you wish you hadn't, this was it. She said she was going back to Glasgow with her husband George. I knew the plane was busy, but on looking around, all I could see were young families or women. Here we go, here it comes.

"Where is your husband?" I enquired, again looking around me. Give her her due, but withoot batting an eyelid, in her wee plaintiff voice, she replied...."He's up above yir heid"  Now, I KNOW how big these overhead lockers are oan planes, so, unless George wis a dwarf, there wis nae way he wid be in THERE , would he?

Aye, yir right, he wis, only he wis in an urn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wis taking his bloody ashes hame. :-))))

God almighty, that fair pit a damper oan proceedings, but she just shrugged, and told me she was taking him back to where he was born, just outside Aberdeen, and was going to spread his ashes on the banks of the river Dee.

It was about this time my first miniature made it's appearance, followed closely by the second and third. I did try to get some shuteye, but it's awfie hard trying to sleep wi wan eye shut, and the other staring up at the overhead storage locker.

I've never been so glad to get aff a plane in ma life, and as I collected my baggage from the carousel, I wondered whit wid happed tae her if she got stopped at customs.

"Anything to declare madam?"
"No"
"Can you tell me what that is under your arm please?"
"My husband"
"Aye, right ye are doll, haw Wullie, bring that sniffer dog ower here quick".!!!!  :-))))))))))))

And so it was that I was home. I had to be, it wis pissin' doon ootside.

After Jim dropped me off in South Nitshill, we had a coffee and then parted. He went ti Knightswood to see a friend. I went straight ti bed to catch up oan the jet-lag, and no doubt dream of wee George who wis above ma heid for nigh oan 9 hours.:-)))